Star Wars Episode III - Abridged.
Anakin: "Thats great news. I really hope you don't die in childbirth though."
Padme: "erm... I suppose so?" (exits)
Chancellor Palpatine enters stage left
Chancellor Palpatine: "Hi Anakin - I was just passing, and I couldn't help overhearing that you were worried about losing Padme in childbirth"
Anakin: "Yes, that was my first thought when I heard she was pregnant"
Chancellor Palpatine: "If you are that worried about it, maybe I can help. I know a way to prevent it happening"
Anakin: "Thats great - what do I need to do?"
Chancellor Palpatine: "Erm, just a couple of things. Renounce the Jedi order that you have spent your whole life devoted to, burn down the Jedi Temple where you grew up, kill all of your friends from the past 30 years - oh, and kill their younglings as well.
And you know that galaxy-spanning war you have been fighting on my behalf for the past 12 years? Well, it actually has been me who is the secret leader of the billion strong enemy forces - you know, the ones who have been trying to kill you?
And you can probably work out from that that my leadership of the Senate in this time has really been one long act of callous, vicious betrayal, of everyone you know, in order that my evil two-faced actions could ruin the lives of untold millions and bring suffering to thousands of planets - including destroying the lives and homes of many of your friends.
Oh, and then, once you've done all this stuff you'd then also need to help me overthrow Galactic Democracy so I can become sole all powerful Emperor of the Universe! And I'd even let you be my No2 (and you can trust me on that one, honest).
Anakin: "I could NEVER agree to that you evil monster!"
Chancellor Palpatine: "I could also get you a red Light Sabre if you wanted"
Anakin: "Cool! Thats all OK then. Where do I sign?"
Cut to set from Mount Doom in Lord of The Rings- Return of the King. But with a spaceship added.
Obi-Wan: "Anakin - you have killed the younglings in the Jedi Temple. As one of the leading act-ors of my generation, I am so appalled at being forced to utter dialogue including such shite made up words as younglings I will now cut off your legs and one of your arms in revenge!"
Anakin: "Oh bugger."
Emperor Palpatine: "Don't worry - I can get that all fixed. And whilst we are at it, I've got this great hat in mind that I just know will really really suit you"
Cut to hospital:
Yoda: "Twins, Padme has had. But dead now is she"
Previously Pointless Male Character: "I'll take the girl, and bring her up as a princess. My wife has a hairdressing salon on Sploogle Prime where we can all live together"
Obi-Wan: "Aaah - I wondered why you were here. Isn't Sploogle Prime the planet with the hallucinogenic atmosphere? Anyway, you take the girl, I'll take the boy and leave him down a hole in the desert. And Yoda - probably best you go hide in a jungle for a while. And take this Linguaphone course with you. Please"
Yoda: "Yes - sentence structure proper, learn will I. Shops in jungle selling batteries for tape recorder, hope to find do I"