", "Mad Igor's ", "Frigg's ", "Olaf the Goat-Impregnator's ", "Steffan the chicken-castrator's " ); $adjectives = array( "salty " , "hairy " , "stinking " , "three-forked ", "flame-singed ", "dog-bitten ", "flea-ridden ", "thundering ", "hammer-tossed ", "platted ", "rune-carved ", "stinking ", "goat-rogering ", "tattooed ", "chicken-hearted ", "filth-encrusted ", "monstrous ", "heathen ", "clumsy footed ", "hawknose ", ); $things = array( "helmet,", "pants," , "boxer shorts," , "axe,", "huge helmet,", "hammer,", "massive helmet,", "undercrackers,", "string vest,", "armpits,", "nasal hair,", "nipple clamps,", "toilet paper,", "Codpiece,", "shield,", "goat-scrotum,", "stinkfart,", "missing eye,", "father's right foot,", "eight-legged steed,", ); $rand = array_rand($intro); echo ($intro[$rand]); $rand = array_rand($names); echo ($names[$rand]); $rand = array_rand($adjectives); echo ($adjectives[$rand]); $rand = array_rand($things); echo ($things[$rand]); ?>