Turophobic's ", "Asmund the Coulrophobic's ", "Sigismund the Hylophobic's ", "Sven the Omphalophobic's ", "Steffan the Nomophobic's ", "Johannes the Papaphobic's ", "Vali's ", "Baldr's ", "Frigg's ", "Eric the Priapic's ", "Styrbjorn the Unsteady's ", "Gorm the Hydrophobic's ", "Brogger the Agrophobic's ", "Olaf the Goat-Impregnator's ", "Steffan the chicken-castrator's " ); $adjectives = array( "horny ", "salty " , "hairy " , "stinking " , "three-forked ", "flame-singed ", "dog-bitten ", "flea-ridden ", "thundering ", "arctic ", "seafaring ", "hammer-tossed ", "platted ", "rune-carved ", "sea-spray soaked ", "Norwegian ", "Swedish ", "Danish ", "twin-headed ", "salty ", "stinking ", "spume-soaked ", "flat-packed ", "Ikea ", "goat-rogering ", "herring-sucking ", "mackrel-lubricated ", "tattooed ", "chicken-hearted ", "filth-encrusted ", "monstrous ", "heathen ", "clumsy footed ", "hawknose ", "dribbling ", "carrion-eating ", "shaggy-haired ", "bread-nosed ", "deaf-mute ", "unborn ", "grave-robbing " ); $things = array( "helmet! ", "bacon slicer! " , "undercrackers! " , "grandmother! ", "huge helmet! ", "hammer! ", "horny helmet! ", "Viking undercrackers! ", "string vest! ", "armpits! ", "nasal hair! ", "tongue-piercings! ", "nipple clamps! ", "toilet paper! ", "Longship! ", "bacon slicer! ", "grandmother! ", "armpit hair! ", "Nokia Windows 8 for Mobile Tablet! ", "Codpiece! ", "self-assembly wardrobe! ", "furniture-assembling Allen key! ", "two-piece sofa and reclining chair set!", "meatballs and tomato sauce!", "goat-scrotum!", "smorgasbord!", "tongue", "stinkfart", "serpent-tongue", "fishbelly", "potlicker", "skull-cleaver!", "snot!", "missing eye!", "father's right foot!", "eight-legged steed!", "female sheep!" ); $rand = array_rand($intro); echo ($intro[$rand]); $rand = array_rand($names); echo ($names[$rand]); $rand = array_rand($adjectives); echo ($adjectives[$rand]); $rand = array_rand($things); echo ($things[$rand]); ?>