Classical & Roman Era at Brixham 2021
Sertorian Spanish vs Middle Imperial Roman
Game 1 Sertorian Spanish vs Early Arab
Game 2 Sertorian Spanish vs Seleucid
Game 3 Sertorian Spanish vs Hurri-Mitanni
Game 4 Sertorian Spanish vs Middle Imperial Roman
Game 5 Sertorian Spanish vs Early Successor
Saturday evening saw the small port town of Brixham overrun by packs of ravaging wargamers, as the local fisherfolk recoiled in horror and amazement to see their pub tables transformed into makeshift gaming re-enactment diagrams with beer mats and ketchup bottles pressed hastily into service as proxy legionaries and cataphracts.
Much local ale was consumed, the seas around Torbay were denuded of fish, and everything that moved was either battered or pan fried with lashings of butter as the carousing lasted long into the night..
The lists for the Sertorian Spanish and Middle Imperial Roman from this game, as well as all the other lists from the games at Brixham can be seen here in the L'Art de la Guerre Wiki.
Look, it's Roman. Proper Roman with Notat Digitatum shields, all the toys. That means quality legionaries, really good Auxilia, bolt shooters on carts and even some good quality cavalry if you so wish. This army held onto the biggest empire the world had ever seen, and did so for ages and ages. It's going to be bloody good, and probably dressed in a lot or red clothes too.
The next morning dawned bright and early. Well, not that early as the relaxed convivial vibe of the whole event had been matched with a leisurely 930am start enlivened by the arrival of a tray of cupcakes gifted to the community by a generous birthday boy wargamer.
The terrain gods however were not in such an indulgent mood, at least from a Spanish perspective, with yet again almost everything of note which could house an ambushing Iberian falling in the wrong place to do so.
With a somewhat bald overall field and the possibility of dangerous enemy mounted, the Spanish decided to stack up and attack down one side of the plantation-covered hill which imposed its will on the middle of the table, doubling-down with a flank march of the micro command on the same wing.
Rather unfortunately - given the size of the Spanish flank march - it soon transpired that the forces of Rome sent to quell the rebellious Sertorians had also elected to flank march, with the most feasible scenario being on the same flank as the micro-horse Iberians.
The Romans had no idea how hapless the Iberian route march force actually was though, so fearful of being overwhelmed and driven back their Legionaries immediately turned and started marching away from the potential point of arrival of their unsurprising surprise enemies.
What's Going on Here Then?
In theory the Spanish plan is OK here, with much of the Roman army neutralized by the simple expedient of ignoring the open half of the table almost totally and attacking in force down the left. So far so good
The plan however is immediately falling apart, as the same terrain that made a Spanish flank march an obvious thing to do has also incited Rome to do the same - and with the Spanish force being tinyit is sure to be driven back by a larger Roman formation. The only thing working really is that the Romans currently think the Spanish force will be larger, and will drive them back
At the same time, but secure in the knowledge their own flank march was almost guaranteed to be driven back by the arriving Romans, the Spanish were already realising they were basically more f-ked that something from an inappropriate and probably unpleasantly sexist metaphor which might have been acceptable in the 1970's or 80's but in such enlightened times as we now live will not now darken these pages.
But, Christ on a bike it would be bad. With that knowledge in hand, the options were limited pretty much to "lets charge and try and get into combat before it arrives and rolls up our flank".
The flank marches both arrived - the tiny Spaniards after being driven back marched on and made an about turn to immediately tee themselves up for defensive duties.
There were not enough of them to defeat whatever was coming on in their wake, but perhaps they could delay the enemy from sweeping on and overrunning the Iberian Chorizo-hanging tents in the Spanish baggage for a little while at least?
L'Art de la Guerre hint - If both sides are flank marching on one flank then the smaller one (in units) gets driven back onto the table in their next turn after either side rolls for arrival, with the larger one following them onto the table in their own sides next turn. This essentially means there is a dice roll every player-turn to try and bring on the flank march, so they can and will arrive sooner than usual
As if stepping in unison through the second door leading from the changing room of a nondescript Turkish-owned fancy dress shop located close to a slightly mis-named Festing Road (in Putney), a line of Imperial Roman-looking well-shield-attired Auxilia from Forged in Battle suddenly hove into view.
Indeed it was now undeniably true that the Spanish flank march had brought the Romans onto the table early, pursuing them hotly on their heels after stumbling into one another in the back streets and flights of narrow steps around Brixham.
Rome's cavalry were now super-confident, and flushed with enthusiasm secure in the knowledge that the arrival of the flank march secured their right wing by dominating the ploughed field that lay there glistening in the early November sunshine.
They assembled their choristers and led by Chrisius Martinus steamed forward to gleefully clatter into the half-hearted detritus of Iberian medium infantry who had somehow failed so far to make their way out of the bowling alley and onto the relative safety of the hills and fields in the middle of the park.
Roman Cavalry Choirs are Singing
The Red on Red action was suddenly taking place as well, as Iberians stampeded off the plantation-covered hill into the line of legionaries in the Dylasnesque valley below.
These were not by any means great odds for the Spanish Impetuous infantry, but with the alternatives being a/ be run over by cavalry in the open, or b/ be run over by quality Auxilia hitting you in the flank in a coherent long line their choices as to what represented "best" were now severely limited...
With the Romans racing forward with barely a pause as they tramped any unwary Iberians things were getting very bad very quickly in the bowling alley.
Tu puta madre en bicicleta ! Even an attempt by Spanish Javelineers to evade quickly came to naught as the Roman horsemen galloped at the double to catch the unlucky and un-fleet-of-foot skirmishers in the rear during their evade move.
There was nothing for it - it was time for THE BURNING CART OF DOOOOOM !!! to appear in frame to save the day!
What's Going on Here Then?
The arrival of the Roman flank march has invigorated the Latins, and they can now press forward with their strong cavalry contingent down their right flank, against which the Spanish have no real answer with their own Legions off chasing camels in the open flank. With the game in many ways almost lost already the Spanish are pressing forward with some rather hopeful attacks against the Roman Legions, just eager to secure some points before their army is ripped apart by Roman cavalry and flank-marching auxilia
Frontal combat was marginally better than being caught in the rear by enemy cavalry, but it seemed that it was not much better as the Spanish struggled to make headway against the resilient and well-prepared Legionaries.
The opportunity for heroism was high, but the execution of heroic acts was shamefully poor as a surge of Spaniards came up short against a redoubt of Romans time and time again.
Rome had swept the bowling alley cleaner than a full-bore mega-strike, with cavalry playing the role of an oversized metalized three-holed bowling ball delivered from an electricity-grid-draining rail gun. Downhill.
The Spanish flank march suddenly looked like it too would be surrounded as it's attempt to slow the advance of the Auxilia transformed into a real possibility of being rolled up and popped in a Roman mixed horse and foot pocket.
Their saving grace might yet be the open and undefended nature of the Iberian baggage, as THE BURNING CART OF DOOOOOOOOOM !!! had already failed at the first hurdle and been doused as thoroughly as the Sertorians morale was by the arrival of the flank march some turns earlier.
There was meanwhile something unimportant happening elsewhere on table, as Sertorius' rebel legions sought to rather hopelessly drive off a scattering of allied camels in a table-filling but rather toothless Arab allied contingent.
Que te la pique un pollo ! Perhaps there will be more photos of this part of the table, perhaps not - but anyone with any experience whatsoever can surely see there is no win here for the men from Madrid, no matter how this pans out.
Having planned a huge wave of countless numbers of warriors leading a massive attack over the brow of the central hill, at least Sertorius himself was now finding it much easier to count how many men he had under his command. .
The Roman commander was at the same time wondering if his legions would survive this battle with no casualties at all, as the Spanish came up short time and time again in their assaults
All of the horses in the Spanish world were tucked in a corner of the table, with flank marchees and cavalry from the main army fighting side by side to, well, it's hard to say honestly what they were hoping to achieve beyond a short stay of execution as lets face it the game feels largely up already.
Let's Face It
Que te folle un pez! I mean, what's the bloody point of this?
The Arabs will be off soon, and the Romans will chase whichever of them survive, and then nothing else at all will happen as some of the best and most expensive geezers in the Sertorian army fritter away their capabilities hopelessly and in vain as the world urges them to hurry up so we can all go home and eat a pasty.
OMG! Someone has been killed off! A set of minor victories for Spain, as the camel-riders stutter in an attempt to halt an infantry assault on the Roman baggage.
But even so, how many bases is this? I mean, please god end this painful defeat-in-waiting!
The flank march command was still in play, but rather uselessly as they fell back and then charged home against the rapidly advancing enemy Auxilia - again a somewhat half-hearted attempt to notch up a few more points before the army slumped to inevitable defeat.
And this was the reason - Roman cavalry closing in quickly on a baggage camp in which a Sertorian Centurion was giving an interview to a combat-zone-experienced TV crew next to a pile of shields.
This would be the coup de grace, it was now just one turn away.
Oh - how typical. That nonsense part of the table?
Where nothing would transpire?
Of course, the Spanish have overextended, and the Arabs have taken advantage, swarming forward and overrunning the elements of Lusitanians who had ventured out to support the legions.
The game was finally up, and with only 11 losses out of 23, Rome had brought its rebel province to heel
Click here for the report of the next game in this competition, or read on for the post match summaries from the Generals involved, as well as another episode of legendary expert analysis from Hannibal
Post Match Summary from the Sertorian Spanish Commander
This was rather unfortunate, but surely a spot of bad luck can occasionally dribble out onto the floor even amid some of the most succesful successes ever committed to the tabletop yesterday afternoon? I mean, it's hardly my fault that the Romanspicked the same flank to flank march on as I did - what's the chances of that eh?
Other than that, it seemed a good game - my mismatched men and horses did they best and put up a stuff resistance and had a firm thrust at the enemy to try and score some points at the end. But I am sure that there are better things to come so best draw a veil over this one quickly lest it scares the horses
And perhaps with an extra rest due to the early finish of this battle the guys can get some practice in and improve for next time, as surely there are some lucky dice owed to them by now?
Nothing to see here, move along..
Hannibal's Post Match Analysis
Thou ruttish pottle-deep moldwarp! Victory is sometimes snatched away, but here you never had it even in your sights even had you been emplying a nautical telescope! God hath given you one face and you make yourselves another to lie to yourself and us that there was ever a flicker of hope in your army in this game
Thou goatish unwash'd ratsbane, rolling in the seagul guano of defeat with a plan to make a flank march in terrain so obvious that your opponent felt compelled to do exactly the same. The element of surprise is lost when it is impossible to think anything else but the plan you have clearly telegraphed!
Losing like this is a sin, but for you, thy sin's not accidental, but a trade which you plough in a deep and long furrow from dawn to dusk in the shade of defeat.
The most infectious pestilence upon thee, scion of loss, consort of failure - please, bring me more sorrw in the next game
Click here for the report of the next game in this competition
You may also like....
Game 1 Sertorian Spanish vs Early Arab
Game 2 Sertorian Spanish vs Seleucid
Game 3 Sertorian Spanish vs Hurri-Mitanni
Game 4 Sertorian Spanish vs Middle Imperial Roman
Game 5 Sertorian Spanish vs Early Successor
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