Eastern Armies at Devizes 2024
Ilkhanid Mongol vs Timurid
Game 1 Ilkhanid Mongol vs Samurai
Game 2 Ilkhanid Mongol vs Ghaznavid
Game 3 Ilkhanid Mongol vs Burmese
Game 4 Ilkhanid Mongol vs Timurid
After a lengthy break for lunch (in which time I did not buy any armies from the Bring & Buy that had travelled to the show in te boot of my car) it was time for an all-Mongol Successor clash as the Ilkhanids took on the Timurids for a place at or very near the top of the final standings.
Timurid is a top-tier Mongol army with elephants, heavy artillery, fully tooled up cavalry and - of course - the hostage screen driven before the army to soak up the enemy's best attacks.
The lists for the Ilkhanid Mongol and Timurid from this game, as well as all the other lists from the games at Devizes can be seen here in the ADLG Wiki.
With both armies being Of The Steppes, a clear and mostly open table was the near inevitable results, with a rather unsurprising deployment of the Armenian infantry and guns in the centre, flanked on both sides by first Knights and then Ilkhanid cavalry for me.
This left something of a gap in the middle of the army, but hopefully that could be closed up once I worked out where the Timurid elephants would be!
With the Timurid right being fairly thinly held by just the impressed hostages and a handful of decent quality cavalry, the first Ilkhanid move was to redeploy the mercenary Knights right across the table, behind the wall of Armenian foot
This would have the double benefit of allowing the Ilkhanid army to stack all 4 knights up against the stronger left wing of the Timurid army, and also keep some of them out of the way of the Timurid artillery piece
The minor downside would be that controlling 2 Impetuous Knights on the opposite side of the table would be rather a challenge for the Ilkhanid CinC, especially when he would also be trying to drive off and run down the Timurid left with the rest of his command of horsemen at the same time
But, frankly the Timurid left was so haphazard and half hearted in its scattering of Light Horse types that this surely would not pose any sort of meaningful problem to a Strategist as well equipped in the leadership stakes as the Khan of the Ilkhanids?
The Hostage Screen were condemned men, as good as dead before they hit the table and counting for naught in terms of army size, nor would their loss trouble the Timurids either
They were quite literally Dead Men Walking, and so in an act of "Why the hell didn't I think of that?" genius, Charles had decided to depict them with the Fireforge box set of multipart plastic Undead Villagers !
A quick glance over to the right showed exactly why the Ilkhanid mercenary knights were needed - the Timurids had assembled a huge and nigh on overwhelming force to sweep down on the rather thinly held right wing of the Ilkhanid army
Timurids
Meanwhile on the other side the skittish and lightly armed Timurid skirmish screen was already in full retreat even with the Knight-denuded wing of the Ilkhanids bearing down on them in a rather reduced effectiveness format
The Timurids were clearly keen to get home for Songs of Praise on the telly that Sunday night (or possibly Antiques Roadshow?) and had launched themselves at full tilt toward the waiting (quivering?) Armenians and Mongols
On reflection I guess it would be Antiques Roadshow - Tamerlane was well known for his slightly fetishistic obsession with Fiona Bruce, and had even applied (unsuccessfully) for tickets to be an audience member on Question Time during an earlier campaign in Europe.
The heretical organisational structure of the three Ilkhanid commands had now reached its apogee, as the blindingly obvious need to stick all 4 Knights together and charge forward in a line was required in this game (much as in all the others TBF).
This time achieving the simple approach had involved a lengthy march for the mercenary Knights, who were only now a mere couple of turns away from joining the Armenian Knights in the line of battle - something it appeared the Timurid Guardsmen were acutely aware of as they pressed their rapid attacks.
On the outer reaches of the table it was a clash of colour against weight, as the metal minions of Tamerland tried frantically to count themselves and compare the outcome to the more lurid riders of the Ilkhanate Empire.
At least someone had a simple plan that they appeared capable of executing
With numbers and quality on their side the whiff of fermented yak milk fresh in their nostrils from the surprisingly eclectic lunchtime fare offered at the Devizes School canteen, a horde of Ilkhanid horsemen pressed the tImurids back towards the table edge
But this "edge" nonsense was not for everyone.
The Timurid elephant corps, with their cleverly chosen "could be Hellenistic, could be anyone who likes elephants" shield patterns just steamed straight into the line of quivering Armenians at high speed in a crescendo of battle the like of which the world had not seen since, erm, the previous game.
As blades clashed and war cries echoed, the air was filled with more than just the sound of battle—there was the ever-present rumbling of bellies in rebellion, turning the battlefield into a cacophony of noise and noxious fumes.
The Knights were arriving at speed too, but they were a little late to the party as the Timurids had calculated that initiating the Mongol-off while they still enjoyed an advantage would be, erm, to their advantage
It is with genius ideas such as this that the story of Mongol military supremacy and tactical nous was indeed invented.
The Great Khan was now reduced to dragging a reluctant band of mercenary crossbowmen around the battlefield, as all of the other troops he was supposedly commanding were either fully engaged already, or so widely spread across the table that he had to float in the middle of nowhere to have a hope in Mongol Hell's chance of issuing orders that they might actually respond to.
The entire Elephant Death Star vs Armenian Spearman matchup had proved dramatically decisive, with the Pachyderms obliterating and eviscerating the Armenian centre while their half-crazed Indianesque infantry accoutrements had given up their subcontinental ghosts at the mere sight of an Armenian sharpened stick.
Whatever happened, this would not be a lengthy battle from this point onward
Why the Lame?
Keen to get on the Quick Ending train along with their Armenian brethren, the MicroIlkhanid Command was proving that a deficit in numbers and quality was not a formula that guaranteed success on the battlefield, as they too picked up a bevvy of markers against their better equipped and more numerous foes.
The two sets of Mongol riders cut through each others ranks like knives through butter, though that butter had clearly turned rancid making their swords swift and their bowels swifter still, laying waste to all who dared approach.
Suddenly the Armenians decided that an early departure back up the M4 was their preferred way to end the weekend, as they collapsed like a deck of rather soggy playing cards in an elephant and Timurid Guard Horsemen shaped hurricane
Quite how half of the Armenian Knights had conspired to lose so dramatically was a mystery that only the dice could answer, but at least it cleared the path for the rest of the Knights to join the fray more swiftly and promptly than they had originally anticipated
As the two battle lines thinned the cavalry continued to charge one another in a stepp-tastic vision of martial prowess, tainted only by the acrid stench of unwashed bodies and the unfortunate gastric side effects of a nomadic diet, leaving the air thick with more than the dust of battle.
Everywhere the melee turned into a swirling mess of men fighting in all directions, with each side keen to secure the upper hand before their opponents turn came around once again
Seeing the prospect of themselves being pushed off table without a fight, the Timurids on their army's right wing turned about and charged valiantly home.
This rather upset the Ilkhanids, who had hoped for somewhat easier game than it seemed many of their compatriots and colleagues were experiencing so far
Caught slightly askew, the Mongols of the Ilkhanate prepared to take their chances
For some unfathomable reason, those chances had been nominated as being better if they involved a rather risky evade move - but that too did not pay off as the Timurid horsemen spurred their steed to great efforts to catch the retreating Ilkhanid cavalry in the rear!
The Armenian spearmen had by now all but been wiped out, and the unedifying sight of crossbowmen trying to take on armoured elephants in order to patch up an already bad situation with very bad quality sticky tape was now soon to be plastered across the front pages of the Il-Khanates red-top newspapers.
Even worse, the Knightly reserve was still to get into action
Things got ever more desperate for the Ilkhanids, as with their army outgunned and falling apart only a few lone chances remained for heroics.
Mounted on their trusty steeds, the Ilkhanid cavalrymen fought with a ferocity that only those with severely irritated digestive tracts could muster, every blow struck with the power of men desperately in need of relief from their fermented yak milk torment, with a Timurid elephant getting a proper lancing up the jacksy being top of the list
With the Timurid Khan committed to battle, the heroics needed by the Ilkhanate troops to wrest something from this unfolding disaster would have been great indeed
But as it was nothing much happened, the elephant shrugged off the assaults from all sides and the title of the Greatest Khan of All ended up securely grasped in the mitts of Timur the Lame
As the dust settled, the Timurid victors stood proudly, their swords dripping with the blood of their Ilkhanid foes, while the pungent scent of their own breath and bodies lingered, a testament to their endurance and, perhaps, their lack of access to basic hygiene.
Read on for the post match summaries from the Generals involved, as well as another episode of legendary expert analysis from Hannibal
Post Match Summary from the Ilkhanid Mongol Commander
Let it be known that this setback is not a reflection of my leadership, nor the strength of our cause, but of circumstances beyond our control — factors that cannot rest on my shoulders alone.
The Armenians, whom we counted on for their loyalty and valor, did not bring the might to the battlefield as promised. Their lack of fighting prowess left gaps in our lines, weakening our ability to press the advantage when it was most needed
And what of the hired knights? We brought them at great cost, believing their skill and armor would be the deciding factor. Yet, they faltered when the heat of battle grew fierce. They fought without the unity or discipline our own warriors display. Their inability to act as a cohesive force has stained their reputation
And lastly, the elephants." He clenches his fists. "Had we been able to recruit more of these mighty beasts, the Timurids would have never stood a chance. Their fearsome charge would have broken the enemy's line before they even had a chance to counter. Yet, the scarcity of elephants... another misfortune we could not have foreseen or overcome, despite doing exactly that in the previous two battles.
"This defeat, though bitter, is not one born of poor leadership or strategy. The weakness of our allies, the mercenaries' lacklustre showing, and the failure of our recruitment efforts—these are the true culprits! Let history remember it as such. We will regroup, and we will return with a force that none can challenge!
Hannibal's Post Match Analysis
You may be a Great Khan, but this does not excuse you from your inability to recognise your own mistakes. Your poor deployment of forces and the failure to concentrate your best knights in one place either thrpugh deployment or even army design is an unspoken truth that lingers as long in the minds of those present as the flatulent whiffs of fermented yak cheese derived flatulence which hang about this battlefield like a post-curry wargamers miasma.
Your speech, though passionate, cannot erase the whispers of mismanagement that even now circulate quietly through the ranks of your gaudily clad men as they whisper of your serial incompetence.
A Khan in name perhaps, but in reality simply a commander of cheese-mongering cavaliers, a ruler of reeking hordes, threw away a victory that was practically served to him on a platter!
For what else could have been the cause, but the failings of his army — an army too busy expelling its indigestion to finish off the retreating Timurid wings while your Armenian allies were trampled into the dust by the very elephants they had struggled to face down in the previous battle as well ?
Oh, thou sovereign of spoiled milk, whose leadership is as firm as curds in the sun! Thy flatulent horsemen may ride hard, but their guts ride harder still, preventing them from closing the trap thou so poorly laid. Thy brilliance is but a foul-smelling haze, through which no victory may emerge. So, my comrades, let us not heap false praise upon this Khan of curds and chaos, this master of mismanagement!
For though he may claim brilliance, it is clear that his victories were down to fortune and the cations of the enemy commanders and quartermasters, and in the end all was lost not through clever enemy strategy, but through the wind of chance and the failure to follow up initial successes with swift action — both of which, it seems, were sorely lacking in this army of fermented failures!
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Game 1 Ilkhanid Mongol vs Samurai
Game 2 Ilkhanid Mongol vs Ghaznavid
Game 3 Ilkhanid Mongol vs Burmese
Game 4 Ilkhanid Mongol vs Timurid
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