ADLG v3 Singles at Cold Wars 2020
200 Point format
300 Point format
The Big Covid Clock was by now well and truly ticking as the gaming halls started slowly to empty as folks hopped into their enormous gas-guzzling cars, turned the radio to one of over 234 Classic Rock stations and started the long drive home, be that North, West or South. But, hey, for some of us there was no escape until a hastily rescheduled flight out of Philly at 11-m that evening, so why not take a stroll down the side of the Amish-possessed horse and trap highway to the legendary lunch venue of ...
Yes, a restaurant which looked like it had been there since the Ming Dynasty was still well-populated with diners most of whom were equally as old and some of whom may have yet to finish their meals from the opening night. A hearty lunch of carbs and sticky brown things of various sweetnesses followed, washed down with some Tsing Tao beer - aaah, the taste of America!
The trip back to the venue was notable for the opportunity to buy the Official Coca-Cola Drink of NASCAR, but little else. But then again, how much more excitement can a argamer take in one weekend eh?
The final round of three saw the bottom-bumping Sassanids drawn against a Graeco-Bactrian army, in a battle that could but for the want of a time machine have happened on the borders of Ancient Iran
The lists for the Sassanid Persian and Graeco-Bactrian from this game, as well as all the other lists from the games at Cold Wars can be seen here in the L'Art de la Guerre Wiki.
On another lovely battle mat the two armies matched each other with a pair of lopsided deplyments, the Sassnids going for width and the Bactrians leaning more heavliy to the right than an NRA-funded bible-bashing Southern Senator
(I only put that in to wind up Dan!)
The Sassanid Centre was pretty thin - in fact and Alan Command's worth of thickness was all that stood between the deep-based Bactrian Death Star and an early feating session on the Persian baggage train.
This however was potentially not enough of a temptation, so the Persians commanded almost all of the Alans to sweep across to the left flank and line up behind the Massive Bobble-headed Persian General himself, in a not-so-subtle attempt to overwhelm the Bactrian cavalry command and implement something sort of half approaching being legitimately describable as "tactics"
With the centre now denuded of Alans, the over-weight right flank of the Persian army was also free to advance and seek to quickly overlap the half-hearted almost-Companions on the Bactrian left
But, inevitably, the laws of gravity being very very strict, the Elephant and its accompanying Crappo-Death Star Mediocre Spearmen could not resist the lure of a heroic death, and lurched uncertainly towards the mini Phalanx
The Persian Baggage Herder raised his arms and cried out in despair as the Bactrians advanced seemingly unstoppably to a date with, well, probably a camel load of dates to be honest.
(Writing this report over a year after the game took place, I must admit it is becoming increasingly hard to work out what the hell I was thinking)
The plan to stack the left wing was working a treat, right up until the point at which I started to notice that the plan of denuding my own centre had resulted in the Elephants in the Bactrian centre having no opposition.
With the baggage seemingly in the bag already they started to wheel outwards and join in with their Companions on the Bactrian right, significantly overfacing the Persian horsemen in the process.
The Bactrian Greeks
OK - so there might actually have been a plan after all. On the Persian right the Asarvan Cavalry had now overlapped the small Bactrian mounted force and were poised to smother them in the loving tender clutches of Mother Iran's best mounted nobility.
The Bactrian Pikemen had hoped to have a date with Crappy Death Star Destiny, but a bit of bait-and-switch worthy of a Carney huckster had seen the rather unfortunate Mediocre Spear Levy pushed into the face of the Phalanx.
This left the one decent thing on table, the Sassanid Elephant, free to undertake a Saucer Separation and head off towards those couple of potentially baggage-eating Bactrian horse and grab their attention good and proper.
On the Persian left the now-Alan-reinforced line of shooting cavalry had rolled up to the much shorter but more punchy Bactrian line and was now unleashing volleys of close range archery into the somewhat eclectic range of I Can't Believe They're Not Mikes Models Ottomans and supporting Essex Companions. A few well placed shots here and the following combats could be better tee'd up than Tiger Woods next driving ban!
With half their number transfixed by imminent application of an Elephant to their sidebuttocks the rest of the block of Bactrian horsemen galloping down the centre of the table carried on
Using their spectacular and legendary Plain Yellow The Colour Of Post It Notes Royal Standard as their lodestar the Afghans careened towards the baggage, scattering less competent Alans in their path.
Battle was now being joined on the Persian left as well, with the Alans lined up neatly alongside their Overlords but more handily a long way away from the Bactrian elephant.
The Ex-Greeks had striking power, but the Persians has Massive Bobble-heads - so everything was very much in the balance unless the elephant managed to get involved to weigh in and tip the scales.
Sheer weight of numbers was having a much faster impact on the opposite flank, with Asarvan overwhelming the handful of Bactrian cavalry as the Phalanx struggled to take down the seemingly dice-defying Levy Spearmen who as they fought had not even the faintest inkling that in just over a year's time they would have the opportunity to upgrade themselves to proper close formation Spearmen !
The Bactrian cavalry were being removed from the table faster than an Amish teenager heading to Ybor City for a hefty dose of 21+ year old Rumshagger. The Phalanx looked worried.
A Few More Bactrian Greeks
The Bactrians had however not read that whole "weight of numbers" textbook on the other side of the board, and the ferocity of their initial Impact charge had skittled the Persians and Alans alike, leaving the Iranian line more gap-toothed than a guilty crocodile sweating under the Alabama sun.
With their Massive Bobble-Headed General engaged the Persians were struggling to find enough pips to make their limited advantages count
The Persian super-clever well reinforced left flank was now collapsing faster than the current attendance at Cold Wars as the Bactrian Lancers carved a swathe through the Asarvan.
The Persians Massive Bobble-headed General's decision to build his army list with an embedded General had brought about the demise of the left wing as surely as if he had expended his efforts to engrave "1" on every face of the die
With the General committed the Persians could simply not issue enough commands to make their overlaps count - or indeed do anything really.
The Persian plan was working far better on the opposite wing, where real weigh of numbers and an unattached General were running rings round, erm, the least mobile elements on the entire table. The Phalanx hardly had time to celebrate their stunning victory against a unit of Mediocre Spearmen before noticing that they had hostile Asarvan breathing right up their asses.
As the charmingly colour-coded rest of the Phalanx looked on in horror, one of the outrider pike blocks was hastily dismembered by a swirling maelstrom of Iranian Noble Cavalry
The Massive Bobble-Headed General was showing great heroics, digging out reserves of fighting competence which clearly had not been at all evident in his list design and was somehow hanging on against the concerted efforts of the best pointy bits of two Bactrian Commands.
His Bobble-headed Bravery was also now starting to buy enough time for the redeployed Alans, with a separate general, to marshal their forces to launch the assault on the rear and flanks of the Bactrian Cavalry which had been supposed to happen about 6 pictures ago and win me the game in short order. Would time last long enough... ?
With the Alans now arriving at speed, the once-victorious Bactrian Essex Miniatures and Some Other Not Quite Companions were now Back in the Biscuit Tin Lancers, leaving the Afghan Elephant rather surprised to find himself fighting an now exultant and still somehow still barely injured Persian Massive Headed Commander!
Surrounded on all sides by a sea of washed-up Clibanarii and Persian Pedestrians the Greek Phalanx had the opposite of nowhere to turn. They pivoted wildly and slowly, attacked from all sides by a bevvy of different Iranian armed forces
The Graeco-Bactrian centre may well have been imploding, but led by their elephantry the Bactrian right flank was finally starting to erase completely the last remnants of the rather shattered Alans. The end-zone run on this flank had failed conspicuously to happen
Things were now getting exceedingly dicey as both armies tottered and teetered towards defeat. Markers of all varieties littered the table as, heck, who knows really. It was more than a year ago, and what a year. How on Gods green earth can I be supposed to remember eh? Gimme a break!!!
Look - here's that dammed elephant again. It looks like it should win this one against cavalry, but of course this is almost the last photo and it may well be that there are some doce rolling heroics going on. Sod it, let's all pretend that's the case and I can make some stuff up about Sassanid bravery staring down the very trunk of doom as the entire transatlantic trip wobbled on a knife edge !
And Bosh - it's all over. There is definately a result here, but what it was frankly who knows. It seemed exciting though, and I'm sure the Persians, the Alans and the Bactrians all had a hoot. See you all in a while to play some v4 !!
The Result is, erm, a Result!
Read on for the post match summaries from the Generals involved, as well as another episode of legendary expert analysis from Hannibal
Post Match Summary from the Sassanid Persian Commander
Reviewing my own greatness in a game that I honestly can't remember the result from would for some people be a challenge, yet for me I can assuredly maintain that I was brilliant and fully deserved to win in great style and showing amazing tactical brilliance
I do get the impression this was a lot closer than perhaps I would have liked, so that probably means I was fantastic but my opponent was ridiculously lucky with their dice. Yahhah Yahha Yahha, Wargames Nonsense, And Then He Rolled a 6 and I rolled a 2, let's face it you've heard it all before haven't you ?
Honestly, this has been almost an archeological assignment to dig up the memories of these games. Perhaps if I'd won convincingly I'd have gotten around to writing these reports sooner?
One can but wonder..
Hannibal's Post Match Analysis
Thank got that shambles is over, and we can go back to wondering what the hell you were doing 3,000 miles from home on the eve of teh most obvious global tsunami oof disaster ever seen trying to squeeze in a few games of toy soldiers?
That itself if stupid enough, but the fact you took a totally and almost deliberately sub-optimal army design in attempting to take a Mongol army but make it out of the Sassanids is an even stranger question
The Sassanids have meny strengths, but having IMpact Bow Elite Cavalry is not one of them, and that's the edge that many Mongol armies use to carve a small but well targeted hole through their enemies
You had a toothless hole punch here, and exacerbated the problem by giving your highly mobile Mongol-style army a ball and chain in he shape of an elephant to stop you redeploying swiftly. Then you made it even worse by not bracketing it with Dailami. I hope you have a lot to think about on your very hastily rearranged flight home
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