The Early Dark Ages at The Dorset Dodderers 2026
Justinian Byzantine vs Thematic Byzantine
Game 1 Justinian Byzantine vs Zapotec
Game 2 Justinian Byzantine vs Justinian Byzantine
Game 3 Justinian Byzantine vs Thematic Byzantine
Game 4 Justinian Byzantine vs Arab Conquest
Game 5 Justinian Byzantine vs Classical Indian
Early Afternoon at the Dorset Dodderers.
The nurses had by come round with biscuits and cake, and everyone had a cup of cocoa and we were all set to gather round, put blankets over our knees and watch Cash in the Attic followed by a quick session of Midsommer Murders (a true "mystery" series for many of us, as the mid afternoon timeslot meant that a number of the more aged players would often fall asleep before the killer was finally unmasked).
However today a third game of ADLG would need to take place before tea time, and for me that meant another Byzantine Civil war, this time against the somewhat later Thematics.
In L’Art de la Guerre, the Thematic Byzantine army list represents the empire after the great crises of the 7th–9th centuries, when the old late Roman provincial system had been swept away and replaced by the “themes”—military districts that combined civil and military authority. Historically, these themes grew out of the permanent encampments of field armies in Asia Minor, whose commanders became regional military governors. This background is reflected in the list’s character: it feels more “provincial” and resilient, with a broad base of competent troops rather than a narrow core of elite, imperial field forces.
By contrast, the earlier Justinian Byzantine list evokes the 6th‑century army of Belisarius and Narses, still very much a late Roman field army. Whilst the feel on the table of a Justinian list is of a sharp, mobile strike force that wins through manoeuvre and the punch of its best mounted troops, the Thematic list features more “workhorse-like” cavalry, solid but not spectacular infantry, and tools for holding and grinding—suited to defensive or counter-punch play.
Infantry also tells the story. In Justinian’s era, infantry still included elements of the old comitatenses tradition, marching with the field armies on long-range expeditions. In the Thematic period, the classic skoutatoi spearmen supported by archers become the backbone of local defence, forming shield-and-bow lines that echo the empire’s need to hold fortified positions and passes against repeated incursions. The Thematic list in ADLG typically feels more comfortable anchoring on terrain and fighting a measured battle, whereas the Justinian list is happier if it can keep the infantry out of prolonged slogging matches.
All of this sits within the broader evolution of the Byzantine army from a late Roman, centrally directed field force to a more regionally based system. The Thematic list captures the empire after it has absorbed the shock of Arab conquests and Slavic settlement, reorganising itself into themes that could raise troops locally and respond quickly to raids. The Justinian list, by contrast, is the last flourish of the old imperial ambition—an army built to project power across the Mediterranean. On the table, that means Justinian’s army rewards bold, carefully timed offensives, while the Thematic army rewards patient positioning, combined arms, and the quiet confidence of a state that has learned to endure.
The lists for the Justinian Byzantine and Thematic Byzantine from this game, as well as all the other lists from the games at The Dorset Dodderers can be seen here in the L'Art de la Guerre Wiki.
With the coastline in play on my left the table had been narrowed. The Thematic army facing the Justinians this afternoon was relatively small, with a large block of Scutatoi safely anchored against the terrain next to the coast, leaving the rest of the field open for the cavalry of both armies to fight it out.
Knowing the Thematic Cavalry were probably not quite as good as their Justinian ancestors my plan was clear - mass on my right with all of my strike cavalry and look to overwhelm the Thematic horsemen, whilst ignoring their Skoutatoi for as long as possible on the waters edge
The exuberantly equipped Justinians revelled in the opportunity to race across the table and get stuck in. This was much more their forte, with the to-and-fro of the previous game long forgotten and consigned to the Constantinopalese dustbin of history.
Across the way from them, Thematic cavalry waited, already conscious perhaps that their Ordinary status might prove a bit of a challenge in an interfamilial matchup.
All of my army was cunningly drifting to the right, inching away from the Thematics Skoutatoi and piling more troops and more archery capability towards the scattered knots of horsemen recalled from their policing duties in the Themes to defend against this ururping enemy from the mists of time.
Little Known Facts About The Justinian Byzantines
The Imperial navy under Justinian reportedly experimented with fitting dromons with decorative bronze eagle figureheads designed to improve crew confidence. Unfortunately, the added weight caused several ships to sit dangerously low in the water, leading one admiral to complain that his fleet handled “like a drunken hippopotamus.”
Despite these setbacks, naval officers remained fiercely proud of Byzantine maritime superiority and frequently referred to the Mediterranean as “Rome’s private lake,” even while being pursued by exceptionally determined Vandal pirates.
The Thematic cataphracts were a bastion of strength, but positioned on the end of their line they were also exposed to the potential predations of greater numbers of Justinian cavalry, and the harassing swirl of Arab horsemen recruited from the sorts of araby and turkic places that the Justinians largess with their coin appeared to easily and often reach.
The Themes
Quickly doing the maths the Justinians realised they now had an advantage in numbers, with the Thematics yet to form up into a solid line.
Sweeping forward at pace the Justinian lancers hammered towards their ancestors, eyeing overlaps and favourable matchups even as the Thematic Skoutatoi struggled to find any meaningful targets as they crept along the edge of the sea.
After a brief and incosequential bout of shooting the hand to hand fight was joined - a wave of well-trained Justinian Bukellarii and other cavalry slamming into the more press-ganged Thematics at pace.`
Better quality and better numbers looked set to tell a sorry but brief tale for the Thematic cavalry, who had been caught wrong-footed by the speed of the Justinian's advance.
The Thematics skirmish screen had been driven off and was retreating into the distance by now, leaving yet more Thematic cavalry badly outnumbered in the centre as Justinian spearmen moved up to demonstrate that bowmen and spearmen dont need to be on the same base to work in partnership on the ADLG tabletop.
Little Known Facts About The Justinian Byzantines
A controversial training manual attributed to Belisarius recommended that cavalry recruits practise precision archery by shooting apples balanced atop abandoned statues of unpopular tax collectors. This was apparently considered both excellent training and an enjoyable civic activity.
The manual was quietly withdrawn after several enthusiastic recruits accidentally destroyed an expensive marble likeness of Justinian himself, prompting an emergency theological debate over whether the Emperor counted as government property or sacred artwork.
With the intense hand to hand combat already tilting the way of the Justinians, suddenly a dramatic breakthrough as the flank of the Thematics fortified border castles - their Cataphracts - was unexpectedly turned by yet more Justinian horsemen
The Thematic line was surely now about to be dismembered, with rampaging Justinian lancers rolling them up from this end of the line
A good situation was getting much better for Justinian, and a bad one was getting worse for, erm, Thematicatitius and his men(?)
L'Art de la Guerre hint - Troops who are disordered by terrain do not exert a ZoC. This applies irrespective of whether the ZoC would pass through the terrain - its the disorganisation caused by terrain to the unit that distracts them from exerting a ZoC, so in this case the Thematic LH were unable to protect the flank of their Cataphracts due to being partly in a field (ie Rough Going)
With the departure of the Thematic skirmishers now an established fact, spare Justinian cavalry were also able to exploit gaps in the centre of the table to flank the thematic line as well as at the extremities, putting the entire Thematic system in serious trouble.
The Thematics had been checked frontally, and then rolled up like a carpet ready for export from the Grand Bazaar in Constantinople (assuming it was open before the whole Turk thing happened some time in the future?)
This was a dramatic reversal of history, as the Justinian Dynasty was returned to the throne of Byzantium in decisive style
The Result is a chunky win for the Justinians
Why Dennis Waterman turned down a part in Star Wars
Click here for the report of the next game in this competition, or read on for the post match summaries from the Generals involved, as well as another episode of legendary expert analysis from Hannibal
Post Match Summary from Justinian Bieber, the Byzantine Commander
Citizens of the Empire! Sons and daughters of New Rome! Today we celebrate not merely a victory, but a glorious correction of history itself! Before us lay the shattered remnants of the so-called “Thematic” armies — descendants of my own forefathers, yes, but descendants who abandoned the true path of military excellence the moment Emperor Thematicus cast aside the sacred Justinian Reforms like yesterday’s tunic rags.
Oh, how they mocked the reforms! “Too disciplined,” they cried. “Too professional!” they wailed. They traded proud imperial regiments for peasant levies who arrive at battle carrying three onions, a dented spear, and an opinion about taxation. They exchanged elite cavalry doctrine for farmers on exhausted ponies named things like “Milo.” And today? Today those same men discovered precisely why the Justinian system was designed in the first place.
For while their commanders argued over local district obligations and grain allotments, my army moved as one. Swift. Elegant. Purposeful. Like a perfectly choreographed performance before an adoring crowd. We struck their flank with such speed that the enemy line barely had time to shout “Baby, baby, baby, nooooo!” before our Bucellarii punched clean through their formation.
And once the breach was opened? Ah! That was the masterpiece. The moment history itself leaned forward to applaud. Through the gaps rode our cavalry — not stumbling thematic horsemen clutching tax receipts, but true imperial riders! They poured through the rupture like golden thunder, wheeling inward to smash the Thematic cavalry again and again. One entire wing collapsed faster than Emperor Thematicus’s credibility after introducing mandatory agricultural self-sufficiency measures.
The enemy thought they could hold the line. But what did I tell my generals before the battle? “Never Say Never.” We drove forward relentlessly, rolling up their flank rank by rank until the entire Thematic army folded in upon itself like a badly pitched tent outside Antioch.
And let the scholars write this clearly in their chronicles: the Justinian Reforms did not merely survive today — they triumphed over the very system that replaced them. Thematicus believed smaller provincial armies would preserve the Empire. Preserve it? They could barely preserve formation integrity for more than twenty minutes! The man dismantled a professional military machine and replaced it with what amounts to an armed village council.
But behold the results of true imperial doctrine! Centralised command! Professional soldiers! Heavy cavalry exploitation! Tactical flexibility! Discipline! Coordination! These are not relics of the past — they are the future of Roman warfare. My enemies said the Justinian system was obsolete. Well, as I gazed upon the fleeing Thematic troops disappearing over the hills, I simply smiled and said: “What Do You Mean?”
And to Emperor Thematicus himself, wherever he now hides — probably behind seventeen layers of unpaid militia infantry — I offer this lesson: reforms are only failures when lesser men inherit them. Today the Empire witnessed what happens when Justinian vision is matched with Justinian genius.
So sing, Constantinople! Raise your goblets high! Let every trumpet sound from the Hippodrome to the eastern frontier! For this day proves beyond doubt that the armies of Justinian Bieber do not merely win battles.
They go One Less Lonely Empire.
Hannibal's Post Match Analysis
“And now we arrive at Justinian Bieber’s most celebrated triumph: his victory over the Thematic Byzantines. A victory he describes with all the restrained modesty of a peacock discovering mirrors for the first time. To hear Bieber tell it, he overcame impossible odds through genius, courage, innovation, divine favour, magnificent hair, and — somehow — rhythm. In reality, what occurred was rather simpler. He took a smaller but vastly superior professional army and smashed it into a larger but markedly inferior provincial force specifically designed for an entirely different age of warfare. This was not Alexander at Gaugamela. It was a trained butcher challenging a village of exhausted shepherds to a knife fight.”
“The Thematic army existed because the Empire changed. The enemies changed. The glorious old professional field armies of the Justinianic age — expensive, elite, highly disciplined — were designed for wars of reconquest against fractured kingdoms and fading powers. Fine troops indeed. Superb cavalry. Heavy infantry worthy of admiration. But catastrophically unsuited to the centuries that followed, when the Empire found itself fighting endless raids, sudden invasions, collapsing frontiers, and enemies arriving from every direction like unpaid creditors.”
“The Thematic system was not born from stupidity, as Bieber claims, but from desperation and survival. The Empire could no longer afford endless elite armies dripping with gold trim and artistic self-importance. It needed soldiers everywhere, quickly raised, locally sustained, permanently available. Thematic troops were rougher, poorer, less disciplined perhaps — but they existed because existence itself had become difficult. Bieber struts about defeating them as though he has disproven military evolution itself. One might as well boast that a tournament knight could defeat a village watchman. Yes. Obviously. That is why one costs ten times more.”
“And let us also note this delicious irony: the very enemies the Themes were created to resist are precisely the sort that would have devoured Bieber alive. Arab raiders, steppe horsemen, relentless border warfare, rapid-response campaigning across shattered terrain — these demanded endurance, decentralisation, resilience. Bieber’s beloved professional army, for all its splendour, would have spent half its time demanding payroll and the other half rehearsing parade formations. His cavalry charges look magnificent in speeches. Less so when chasing mounted raiders across Anatolia for six consecutive campaigning seasons.”
“Yet Bieber parades about Constantinople claiming this battle proved the superiority of the Justinianic reforms. Of course it proved superiority! He brought elite professionals against exhausted provincial militias whose entire purpose was to survive impossible circumstances, not win glorious theatrical set-piece battles for the entertainment of poets. The true miracle is not that Bieber won, but that he seems genuinely astonished he did.”
“And speaking of theatrical entertainment — may all the gods curse the imperial chariot circus and the mandatory attendance at Bieber’s victory concerts therein. In my day, soldiers celebrated triumph with wine, sacrifice, and modest dignity. Under Bieber, veterans are apparently forced to endure three-hour performances of melancholic love ballads while acrobats dressed as cataphracts throw flower petals at the audience. I am told attendance is compulsory for all officers under penalty of reduced grain stipends. Entire regiments reportedly attempted transfer to the eastern frontier merely to avoid encore performances of Baby accompanied by hydraulic organ music.”
“One shudders to imagine such behaviour during the true Thematic era. Can you picture a hardened Anatolian frontier commander, exhausted from years of Arab raids, pausing amidst burnt villages and emergency levies to attend an imperial concert entitled My Heart Will Go On Campaign? The Themes survived because men abandoned vanity and embraced grim practicality. They built systems designed not for glory, but endurance. Bieber, by contrast, behaves like an Emperor who believes military campaigns exist primarily as material for future autobiographical songs.”
“Indeed, had Bieber ruled during the darkest days of the Thematic age, he would likely have been overthrown within weeks. Frontier soldiers do not care how beautifully an Emperor poses beside golden statues. They care whether the grain arrives, whether the forts stand, and whether the enemy burns their farms. Thematic commanders respected competence, austerity, and survival. Bieber offers silk cloaks, emotional speeches, and commemorative tour merchandise.”
“So no, Justinian Bieber did not prove the Thematic reforms wrong. He merely demonstrated that elite armies outperform poorer emergency systems in ideal conditions — a revelation roughly equivalent to discovering that bronze helmets are sturdier than pottery bowls. Meanwhile the Themes, for all their flaws, preserved the Empire through centuries that would have shattered Bieber’s pampered parade army into glittering fragments.”
“Still, I grant him this much: the man understands spectacle. And perhaps that is fitting. For his reign resembles one of his concerts exactly — expensive, loudly celebrated by admirers, emotionally exhausting for everyone involved, and sustained almost entirely by people pretending not to notice the underlying structural weakness - but perhaps even that will be inescapable to all once we see the outcome of the next game?”
Click here for the report of the next game in this competition
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Game 1 Justinian Byzantine vs Zapotec
Game 2 Justinian Byzantine vs Justinian Byzantine
Game 3 Justinian Byzantine vs Thematic Byzantine
